Birds and Bees

So I've been having a few problems with nature lately. I try to be okay with creatures living in my space. I mean, they don't know I've laid claim to this particular piece of land, and frankly they have plenty of rights to be here. I rarely kill spiders, unless they look like they are capable of killing me (like the one I flushed down the drain the other day). I let moths and random flying insects float annoyingly around my room without swatting at them. I even ignore the mouse (or mice) that are definitely living somewhere in my storage space. But I have my limits, and right now I'm reaching it. That limit is bees. Having a bee, or two, in the house every so often is no biggy. They mostly keep to themselves, so I don't mind. But lately there have been more than one or two bees in my house.. and they're not bees, they're wasps. Also, they are in my bedroom. I came home from work the other day to find approximately 8 wasps in my bedroom. In their credit, they are non-aggressive. They are paper wasps, and if you can get over the creepy "there are wasps in my bedroom" thing, they're pretty neat looking. The real problem with having multiple wasps in your room is that it's unlikely that day after day they are just getting in through a window. It is more likely that they have burrowed in through the attic or roof and made a nice little home in your wall. The other thing about these wasps is that they seem really smart. I swear their little heads follow my movements if I get really close to them, and let me tell you - that is just weird.

The good news is, it had been nearly a week since I originally started this entry (due to a little event called LIZ'S WEDDING!!) and the wasps seem to be dying off. This was my hope. That I could just wait for the cold weather to do it's thing and than count on them not returning to their old home next year. I figure, if I can avoid spraying my bedroom with poisonous chemicals I certainly will.

The wasps are not the limit to my nature problems, however. In the last two months I have witnessed five birds slam into windows directly in front of me. The first one made sense. It was a large sliding door with no curtains or objects blocking it. I felt responsible for the death of that bird (which I honestly think was a crow, I don't even want to think about the symbolism there). The others flew into windows which I thought seemed pretty well blocked by objects in front of them and things taped to them... So my question is, Does this mean something? And I releasing some kind of bird pheromone here, or are there darker forces at work? Or are the birds just flying around in a frenzy preparing for winter? Do they do that?

The cold is a comin' and then all there will be is snow and grayness, and I won't have to worry about wasps and dead birds. I'm not sure that such a good trade.

"...the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had"

I woke up this morning in a strange haze, still caught up in the dream I had been having through the night. For whatever reason the effect of the dream was to make it so that I physically couldn't get out of bed. I wasn't tired, or emotionally exhausted in any way, I just kept laying there staring at the ceiling literally thinking "why am I not getting up?". I can't describe much of the dream, except to say that there was a lot of water - pools, showers, flooded rooms, rain. etc. And that I had two somewhat sexual encounters with people who seemed to be strange combinations of ex-boyfriends (or crushes). I don't know why, but even thinking of the dream makes my whole body feel weighed down. Perhaps this is a response to the hurricane and subsequent flooding, which is definitely present in my mind. I do have a complicated relationship with water, both fearing and loving it immensely. Having no television, I have seen very little imagery of this storm, but the ones in my mind are pretty strong. Ugh - I need to stop thinking of this dream.


Here's a random "things I've been wanting to do lately" list :

-Have a decent looking, functional garden. This applies to both vegetable and flower. My very first attempt, this summer, produced somewhat pathetic results. The flower garden was badly designed and, in the most general terms, unattractive. The vegetable garden also lacked design skills and was, most often, full of weeds. I should be able to do this. I have hippy blood coursing through my veins, dammit!

-Finish my wedding album (I got married in June 2000).

-Have a silk-screening business. No matter how small.

-Bake a cake from scratch. Honestly, I've never done this...Cookies, maybe, but no cakes.

-Drive across the country. And I mean all over.

-Be a better blogger.


Damn, that dream is still sitting in my belly. I need to go run around and enjoy this amazing weather. That ought to do the trick.