Gotta do more, Gotta be more

I feel like I've been running around for two weeks now, with no end in site. It's always this way. One seemingly small event explodes into a serious of events, which start to take over. Let me explain. I've begun taking on small photography jobs. It provides a bit of a challenge and well, lets face it, some extra cash. But suddenly I have three in two days on top of my 40 hr work week. Already I see myself adjusting from 'girl who goes home after work and lazily watches movies' to 'serious working girl, editing photo shoots in the evening after a long day at work'. This transition was really only difficult in the beginning. Already I'm starting to crave this feeling of fullness. It makes you fit things into your schedule that you may have otherwise put off, thinking "I have plenty of time, I'm not doing anything". And yet I'm never satisfied. I never feel like I'm doing enough. Everpresent in my mind is "be more creative, take more photos, make more books, more, more, more". In my lazy time I've ever riddled with a dull guilt that I'm not doing enough, never enough. Or that what I'm doing is somehow lacking. That is should be better. More. This generally leads to more laziness, which is avoidance, leading to more guilt. So I'm thankful for this burst of busyness. I have no choice but to be productive. So even if I'm not satisfied, I'm at least free of the feeling that I'm not doing anything. Even if I could be doing more.